Thursday, December 31, 2009

HAPPY NEW YEARPOCALYPSE!

Can you believe it's been ten years since the world ended?





Stay safe out in that wasteland, Terribleteers!

R.I.P. 2009: YONDER VITTLES!

Have a safe and stranger-free New Year!



Wishes of joy and happiness in 2010!



Here's to honesty and integrity in the 20-teens!



To self-discovery!

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

R.I.P. 2009: AIRWAVE RANGER!

What about our friends?


Or these classy dudes?


My best friend and soul mate.


I think we all learned a lot from this one:


And my favorite crazy of all.

GHOUL SKOOL IS DEAD

These are the ones I liked!









I cannot be blamed for this...



And let's not forget the one that Duane'd us all...

R.I.P. 2009: COMMODORE GILGAMESH!

I liked these ones:




I didn't like these ones:


Tuesday, December 29, 2009

CHRISTMAS IS OVER!

Thank god.

And thanks to everyone who came out to the Hungry Brain last night, especially to our musical guest Al Scorch. No thanks to that Terrible bastard TerribleClaus, who nearly ruined an otherwise pleasant evening.




Oh, what a night! See you at the Hungry Brain in February.

R.I.P. 2009: FUTURE SCHLOCK

2009 was a big year for me. I learned how to improve my psychic abilities,



how not to racially profile people,



and that diabetes is chocolate's way of telling me it loves me.



This next video is just a tragedy. It could have been one of my best videos ever, but a technical glitch caused some flash frames that ruined it. It makes me cringe every time...



oh, and ps....



Also, don't forget to leave your favorites in the comments!

Monday, December 28, 2009

R.I.P. 2009: DEFENESTRATOR III

Alright, Christmas is over, New Years is coming up, and frankly, we don't want to do anymore work this year. So this week we are going to be taking a look back at our favorite videos from the past year. These are the funny internet videos that we will remember fondly for the rest of our lives.











And as a special treat, here's the worst video I posted this year: Engine Eddie



Please vote for your favorite videos from the past year in the comments throughout the week and we'll make a complete top ten list at the end of the week!

Friday, December 25, 2009

EIT HOLIDAY SPECIAL PART 10: THE TRUE MEANING OF CHRISTMAS!

It's finally Christmas! On this special day, it's important to gather with family and friends and celebrate the true meaning of this consumerist perversion of an arbitrary date chosen to coincide with the winter solstice. Merry Christmas, everybody!

HULK HOGAN SAVES CHRISTMAS

As a very special holiday treat, EIT presents our version of the Terrible classic "Santa with Muscles"! Hulk Hogan stars as an amnesiac millionaire bodybuilder who, through the magic of Christmas, becomes a crime fighting Santa Claus and saves a gang of adorable orphans from the clutches of Ed Begley Jr. and his karate fighting doctor!



Christmas wishes really do come true!

Thursday, December 24, 2009

EIT HOLIDAY SPECIAL PART 9: HANUKKAH!

You didn't think we forgot the coolest holiday of all, did you?

Saturday, December 19, 2009

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

EIT HOLIDAY SPECIAL PART 3: TREES!

Turn your Christmas tree into a gay icon!

Sunday, December 13, 2009

EIT HOLIDAY SPECIAL PART 1: THE INTRO!



This is just part uno of EIT's world famous 'Holiday Special.' Wanna see more? Then get ready folks, because we're offering a FREE Holiday Special DVD to the next 100 people who order EIT:The Movie!!! Do you understand what's happening?!

$15 DVDS ($17 OUTSIDE US/CANADA) THROUGH JANUARY PLUS A FREE HOLIDAY MIX FOR THE FIRST 100 CUSTOMERS!!!!



Oh yes, and we are FINALLY getting our new shipment of DVD's this week, so we will be shipping back orders SOON. We really are very sorry.

Saturday, December 12, 2009

Friday, December 11, 2009

MAKE SOME SERIOUS MONEY

Some real talk about money this holiday buying season from the EIT family to your family.

Thursday, December 10, 2009

SPIDER-MAN VOTES!

If your only incentive to participate in civic life is "Spider-Man told me to," you've got bigger problems than who's running for county commissioner this year.

Wednesday, December 09, 2009

MUST SEE EIT ON CBS

Our good friend Maryjean Ballner has informed us that she will be appearing on The Late Show with David Letterman tonight. Who knows... Maybe she'll do a duet with Rob Thomas. A boy can dream, can't he?

Congratulations, Maryjean! We'll be watching...

UPDATE: Now with video!

EVERYTHING IS TERRIBLE! FOR KIDS! WITH POOP JOKES!

I think EIT has really messed with me over the last two years. This is what I've turned into: a guy who edits down totally legit videos about poop.

Tuesday, December 08, 2009

NEW YORK SCREENING OF THE EIT HOLIDAY SPECIAL!

Hey New York EIT fans! Come celebrate the holidays with an evening of satanic gypsy rock music by our friends Lavalier and Jeremiah Cymerman and I'll be on hand for a special screening of our recently premiered Holiday Special this Thursday at Zebulon in Williamsburg. It's gonna be an all out celebration of our worst holiday cuts, you will not be disappointed.
Best of all it's FREE! FREE! FREE!

Thursday, Dec. 10 9:00-11:00PM
Zebulon
258 Wythe Avenue, between North 3rd/Metropolitan

http://www.myspace.com/lavaliermusic

http://www.jeremiahcymerman.com

POCKET MONSTERS ARE REALLY POCKET DEMONS...

It's only a matter of time before the children of Japan use their Satanic cuddly critter-fueled powers to destroy us all.


Thanks to 23 Wolves for the tape!

Monday, December 07, 2009

Friday, December 04, 2009

MILK IS SWEET, BRO!!!

I was all "fuck milk, that stuff's for losers", but this video really showed me the error of my ways. Milk is what makes Joey Lawrence so dreamy.

Thursday, December 03, 2009

CHARITY AT WORK

Sometimes life gets you down what with all the economic depression, famine, and war. But there is hope, there is Kathie Lee and her big beautiful hair and her big beautiful voice.

Wednesday, December 02, 2009

SEX APPEAL CIRCA 1992

The year was 1992. The hair was long and sweaty. The roses were flying. The equipment was B.U.M. It belonged to Billy Ray.

Tuesday, December 01, 2009

EIT WANTS THAT GUMMY!

A few weeks ago, we found out our video, Stranger Danger, was nominated for a Gummy Award by the good people at Stereogum and Videogum. While we didn't start EIT to win awards (we did it for the money), we are going to do everything we can to win. So here's a classy, prestige trailer that should win over any undecideds that have yet to vote for us multiple times.



Now that you've seen how amazing our video is, let's talk about how awful the other nominees are. Just look at the FACTS!

Kittens Inspired By Kittens - A cute little girl AND kittens? This is such obvious Gummy bait.
Gathering Of The Juggalos Infomercial - We all know ICP is going to win all the music categories anyway, so let's spread the wealth, motherfackoos.
Best Guy Ever, Singing & Smoking In The Shower - Sure, this guy SAYS he's drunk, but where's the proof?
Pumpkin Head Dance - Wake up, America! The local news is just using Pumpkin Head Dances to lure you into watching human interest stories about lifestyle coaches.
The Breakfast Song - If there is no breakfast in heaven, then heaven does not exist.
Bangs: Take U 2 Da Movies - Bangs CLAIMS he wants to take U 2 da movies, but has anyone ACTUALLY been taken 2 da movies by Bangs? No.
Between Two Ferns With Charlize Theron
- Being an Oscar winner isn't enough for you, Charlize Theron? Don't let these Hollywood celebrities come into our internet and steal our hard-blogged awards.
Ultimate Muscle Roller Legend - This video completely glosses over how dangerous it is to use your lover as a vehicle in high speed chases. Also, kids, I know they are really popular now but you should really think about how your baby face crotch laser is going to look when you're sixty.
JK Wedding Dance - FAKE! Totally fake.
California Woman At Assembly - This video is from 2008 which was months ago. It is completely out of touch with the internet of today.
Cleveland Tourism Video - What this tourism video fails to tell you is the REAL reason they want you to visit: so they can burglarize your home while you are in Cleveland.
Keyboard Cat - Keyboard "Cat" is REALLY a dog...and he's a racist!
Business Card Guy Teaches Us How To Pack - 20 MINUTES LONG!?! Nice try, grandpa.
Costume Shop Lady Hijacks Local News Interview - Do you really want to give an internet award to a DERANGED CRIMINAL charged with cyberstalking? That's Stranger Danger 101, people.
Microsoft Songsmith Commercial - It might seem like fun to ironically give an award to Microsoft and tell them how "cool" their "viral" video was, but deep down Microsoft will know you're making fun of it. It's not funny; it's just mean.
The Shake Weight - I don't get this one.
Winkers - This video has absolutely nothing to offer the flat-assed voting demographic.
Kids Play Folsom Prison Blues The Darndest Things - Rewarding this little girl is just going to push her parents to teach her harder country songs about more violent murders.
Keenan, The Lip-Sync Kid - This kid is ACTUALLY singing. FAKE!

As you can see from this list of character assassinations, Stranger Danger is clearly the most qualified and deserving nominee. If you are still not convinced, read all of this again and remember, there is only one nominated video that actively prevents alien child molestation. You don't want to ENCOURAGE alien child molestation, do you?

Go here to make the right choice for Stranger Danger. While you're there, feel free to put us down for Best Movie and Best New Act, too, what the hell. Voting ends Wednesday at 6PM EST. It's down to the wire so we need everybody to vote, change computers, shave your beard into a mustache, and then vote again. LET'S SAVE THOSE KIDS!

CG PRESENTS FURRY TUESDAYS!

It seems that my backlog of furry videos has gotten too great. So, ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the first and possibly the last installment of Furry Tuesdays! We'll call it practice for Furry Week. Enjoy, perverts!





*These videos come just as they were found in nature, unedited by the hand of EIT.
**Thanks to 9th St. Video in Columbia, MO.

Monday, November 30, 2009

TEEN VID: THE MAGAZINE YOU WATCH!

Teens hate to read, but they love celebrities. Thankfully there's Teen Vid so teens can stay up to date on what celebrities are shopping without having to deal with stupid old people words and still pictures.

Thursday, November 26, 2009

A HOLIDAY MESSAGE FROM EIT!


For this year's turkey genocide, let us stop and think about the life Harry The Turkey could have lived...

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

UCB TICKETS AVAILABLE NOW!

Get your tickets here!

Monday, November 23, 2009

THIS HOLIDAY SEASON!

Did you think we would let the holiday season go by without doing a holiday special? Well, Los Angeles- grab your nutcracker bongs and get ready for our highest concept show to date! THE EVERYTHING IS TERRIBLE HOLIDAY SPECIAL!!!

Oh yeah, and the show will be hosted by us, and a couple of dudes named MATT BESSER and MATT WALSH. It's no big deal, they're only our heroes.

GET YOUR TICKETS NOW!!!

EIT ON VACATION

Hey Terribleteers,
We're taking this holiday week off to focus on our new teen drama for the CW. It's about a group of Mormon internet monsters that solve sexy crimes and have weekly cat fights. Thanks to Ashley for the publicity still:

There will still be some sporadic posts up this week and then we'll be back to our regular posting schedule next week. In the meantime, here's some hunting videos from Yonder Vittles and Commodore Gilgamesh to tide you over.




See you next week!

Friday, November 20, 2009

HUMMING FOR GOD

There's so much goofy shit in this video that I suspect it might have been made ironically. Whatever, let's all discuss it over an order of Jack Daniels ribs at TGIFridays. Are those things even still around?

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

THE LIFE YOU SAVE MAY BE YOUR CAT'S

We love our cats here at Everything Is Terrible! and want only the best for our bewhiskered friends. While we hope you never have to use any of the information found on this video we are providing it as a public service to all of the kitties of the world and the beautiful people who love them.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

THE CHRISTIAN ROBOT!


*Thanks to Chicago David for this gem!

Monday, November 16, 2009

3 MINUTE DEATH DRUG

Stay off the wack, suckers.



And here's a bonus music video from Phillip Michael Thomas' burgeoning mid-80's music career:



Finally, a big thanks to all the people that came out to see us in St. Louis and Columbia! We had truly fantastic crowds both nights. We had a blast bringing the Terrible to Missouri and we left that wonderful state with a new pile of VHS and some new friends. What more could we ask for?

Friday, November 13, 2009

DECK OUT YOUR BUNKER FOR Y2K



Thanks to El Scorcho for the video.

ST. LOUIS! TONIGHT!

Be there unless you're somewhere else! BOO-YA!

Thursday, November 12, 2009

LOS ANGELES TURNS 8-BIT TONIGHT!!!


Come see yesterday's tomorrows -- today! Tonight, we'll sift through the last 40 years of big scary machines and all the mysterious things they did. Machines that were, at the time, cutting edge but are now antiquated and often down right quaint.

We'll be screening short films by pioneers like Stan Vandeerbek, Eric Siegel among others and some documentaries from that time dealing with everything from synthesizers to computer hacking, a 1969 industrial film's idea of life in 1999 (and see how much they got right and wrong) and various pop cultural detritus showing how we ate it all up (Bubblicious Pac Man TV commercials, news stories on video game trends, etc.) After the show, stick around for a show-and-tell demo of some curious analog contraptions.

PLUS 15 GLORIOUS MINUTES OF EIT'S BEST 'INTERNET' RELATED CLIPS!!!

EIT IN MISSOURA!

Missourians! We will be inside your fantastic state this weekend! Please don't be shy with the pizza, grass, and helmet washings!!!



Buy tickets for the St. Louis show at Antartica (5226 Gravois St) or at Apop Records. Columbia, buy tickets at Ragtag Cinema (10 Hitt St).

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

INTERNATIONAL SMACKDOWN

Ghoul Skool, I'll take your Super Xuxa and raise you one Rajini Kanth, known simply to his legions of fans as SUPERSTAR. Despite his ill-defined chin and lack of dancing ability, this dude is the highest paid actor in India. A fan even set himself on fire out of love for SUPERSTAR!



We love you SUPERSTAR!



To declare your undying love, visit:

http://www.rajinikanth.com/


http://www.rajinifans.com/


TWO'FOR TUESDAY!

Look, I love a heavily edited vid as much as they next guy, but this weekend I found something weird and pretty great. I always knew Brazilian sensation XUXA was a remarkable maniac, but I never knew her as a 'holyfuckingshit' rock opera movie star! 'Super Xuxa' was the most watched movie in Brazil EVER from 1988-2001, and you will soon understand why.

Seriously, look at every shot with care and tell me what this means to you. What if we all woke up every morning to this? How different do you think life would be? The film also includes a lot more of that puppet dog, white child slavery, the devil (I think), a pink dolphin, and much, much, much more. What caught my eye in the first place was one of the best VHS covers I've ever seen...


Anyways, other cultures sure are funny!


Monday, November 09, 2009

HIT BEBE, KIDS!

Finally a video that teaches kids about the abusive relationship between baseball and bat.

Thursday, November 05, 2009

WHEN SCOOTERZ ROOLED

Razors were the original Segway.

Thanks to our buddy John Gross for this video!

Tuesday, November 03, 2009

Monday, November 02, 2009

THE EXCITING NEW WORLD OF DATA ENTRY

Early 80s computers were confusing and scary. Luckily, Steve Allen was there to help you laugh your computer fears away. With a computer, you can do anything from data entry to a slightly different kind of data entry!


Chicago! Don't forget that we will be at the Hungry Brain tonight showing spooooky new videos and the terrifyingly terrible feature, Boarding House! Plus a special bonus puppet show at 8:30 pm! Did we mention it's FREE? All the details HERE!

Friday, October 30, 2009

HALLOWEEN GREETINGS FROM TERRIBLELAND

Happy Halloween eve everybody! Hope you all have a fun evening of gorging on candy and satanic ritual sacrifice planned- we sure do. Halloween is the time of year when we here at EIT gather together and give thanks for the things that really matter, like the redemption of failed comedians in the afterlife...



...and grindhouse horror trailers. Here are some of my personal favorites:



Thursday, October 29, 2009

GOOD FOR YOUR HEART, GOOD FOR YOUR PENIS

Today's hunk of junk is actually a bit serious, and is something Commodore Gilgamesh deals with every day of his life. From our EIT travels around the country, I am now positive that our audience consists of attractive, white males in their late 50's, with massive penis problems. It's honestly all they talk about! I also know that the teeny-tiny percent of women readers are here only to find new and erotic ways to entice their man after a hard days work. Well today's your lucky day!

Oh yeah, this is probably NSFYB (Not Safe For Yer Boner!)



And just in case any of you are having megabyte hard drive problems with your cyber-netting stuff, check out the video HERE.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

CAT MASSAGE UPDATE

Some people have asked us where we found "Your Cat Wants a Massage!" and one of those people just happened to be Maryjean Ballner, the loving-genius who created this masterpiece in 1998.



Maryjean contacted EIT recently to let us know that she saw our little mash-up on television... and that she is a big fan of our work! "It's hilarious!" she said. "Bang-up job"

Maryjean liked our compilation so much, she is even sending us a copy of her follow-up video, "Dog Massage", so we can make a sequel.

As you know, we don't get celebrity endorsements often, so when we do, we don't take them lightly. Especially when they come from a copyright-holder with a sense of humor and a heart of gold. We love you Maryjean!

Please visit Maryjean's site www.catmassage.com to buy the full-length version of Cat Massage (you can even get it dubbed in German) and many other wonderful products.

And for those of you living under a rock: here's the post that started this beautiful relationship.

A VERY DUMB VIDEO ALL ABOUT...


Here are a few more examples: dog and log or rake and shake or now and plow or house and mouse or tree and ghee or noose and goose or 666 and 666. I think that is all of them.

Monday, October 26, 2009

THANKS BOOBS!

Our new friend Boobs over at the website Gordon Gartrelle sent us this kick ass music video using some of our kick ass clips. Real nice going boobs, real nice.

IT'S A BAD BAD BAD BAD NOIR

Only through the magic of VHS can you win $100,000 by subjecting yourself to a soft boiled mystery multiple times.

Friday, October 23, 2009

PRO WRESTLERS OR RENAISSANCE MEN?

T.G.I.F., am I right?

Since the big-bosses are in New York City and I've got the whole E.I.T. office to myself, I've decided to do nothing but: a) park in Commodore's 'precious' handicapped spot; b) spin myself sick in Ghoul Skool's chair; and c) post uncut music videos by professional wrestlers.

I now present Macho Man Randy Savage 'rapping' "Straight from the Heart"


And finally, Hacksaw Jim Duggan's "U.S.A." (also known as the inspiration for Fox News)

Thursday, October 22, 2009

HAVE WE MENTIONED WE WILL BE IN NYC THIS WEEKEND?

HANGIN' WITH LEO!

Long before celebrities got their publicity from televised fake dating shows, fitness clubs and fat-offs, the only way Johnny Public could feel close to their favorite stars was for some Bob Woodward-type crack-journalist to assemble a hard-hitting documentary, secretly filmed from the inside of a paper bag and put it out there for the public to gobble up. Here's the inside scoop on our favorite heart-throb Leo "the Lion" Dicaprio.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

THE TIME HAS COME...


*Video courtesy of Chicago David!

October 24 @ 10 pm
CMJ's L'asso Pizza Party!
Collective Hardware (169 Bowery Ave.)
The RSVP is now closed. HOWEVER, you can still get in if you come early. CMJ badgeholders/RSVPers get in first but they will let non-badgeholders in.
Make sure you come early and catch Greg Barris' The Heart of Darkness @ 8PM!

AND!

October 25 @ 6:30 pm
Magnet Theater (254 W. 29th St.)
MAKE RESERVATIONS!!! CALL: 212-244-8824
More info here!

If you can't make it out to the shows, The DVD is back in stock at Blue Door Video, 87 1st Ave, in Manhattan for the low price of $15.

INTERNET FOR KIDZ!

These guys make the internet seem pretty cool.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

SEDUCTION 102

So, you've practiced all the moves in Smooching for Dummies but you still can't find a live human being to make out with. Well, once again EIT is here to save the day! Watch this lesson from the Tommy Wiseau school of seduction and you'll be caressing her thighs on satin sheets in no time.

Friday, October 16, 2009

EIT! IS COMING TO NEW YORK!!!

Here is a taste of our show last Friday at the Music Box! Thanks Chicago!

New York City, you're next!

October 24 @ 10 pm
CMJ's L'asso Pizza Party!
Collective Hardware (169 Bowery Ave.)
RSVP here!
Make sure you come early and catch Greg Barris' The Heart of Darkness @ 8PM, without him we would not have had this show!

AND!

October 25 @ 6:30 pm
Magnet Theater (254 W. 29th St.)
MAKE RESERVATIONS!!! CALL: 212-244-8824
More info here!
Posters by Dimitri Simakis & Dimitri Drjuchin

MAXIMUM DOLPH!

Don't you want to be like Dolph? Of course you don't.



Special thanks to Odd Obsession, Commodore Gilgamesh, and Defenestrator III: On Broken Glass.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

THE COMPLETE GUIDE TO THE FUTURE

No seriously, this should be all you need to know about the future, it's a complete guide. These two knuckleheads can't wait for everything to be terrible so they can be on the first UFO to heaven.

HOW TO GET BEAT UP WORSE THAN BEFORE

This is a great self-help video teaching you how to become 'Bully Smart:' A surefire success for teaching bullies new and innovative ways in beating the living shit out of you after you temporarily stun them. To be honest, you probably had it coming anyhow.

Sorry for all the buzzing sounds. Oh, VHS!

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Friday, October 09, 2009

YOU AND GOD MAKE A CUTE COUPLE

Why date a stupid teenager when you can date God?

Thursday, October 08, 2009

LET US SETTLE THIS ONCE AND FOR ALL...

Over the last year, we've been contacted by hundreds of supposed Duanes! and we are fed up with it all. We want Duane! and we want Duane! now! This Friday, at the Music Box Theatre at 10:30 PM, could the real Duane please step forward? If you do not, I cannot say what Ghoul Skool will do...



(Duane, you should probably buy your ticket pre-sale, so you can get a seat)

SNOGGING 101

Is your pillow getting damp and clammy at night? Tired of your hand being your only makeout partner?* Then Smooching for Dummies is for you!



*WARNING: Smooching for Dummies does not guarantee that you will find an actual human being to make out with you.

Wednesday, October 07, 2009

SEE YOU THERE, HOT DOGS

Chicago! Michael Jordan! Al Capone! Bang bang!



After the show is a special screening of one of our favorite flams of all time,
'7 LUCKY NINJA KIDS!'

If this doesn't wet your whistle, then I don't know what will...

IMPERIALISM! FOR KIDZ!

Kidz! are coming to the land of resorts and hell is coming with them.

Tuesday, October 06, 2009

Monday, October 05, 2009

PROP COMEDY IS HARD

The Beanie King returns, reincarnated as the Billy Bob Teeth King. This guy is my hero.

Saturday, October 03, 2009

EIT ON CHIC-A-GO-GO!

Last week, EIT's Chicago chapter got to realize a dream by appearing on Chic-a-go-go, Chicago's longest running cable access dance show for kids!! Thanks to Ratso the rat puppet for the interview:


We even got to back up America's preeminent soul bagpipe player, Honey Blo!

Thursday, October 01, 2009

BECOME CONFUSED WITH OMAR SHARIF

Granted, I know absolutely nothing about cards, but if playing bridge is the only way to spend a week with Omar and his VCR on a gambling yacht, I will learn.

THE ROCK CATS!



The critically acclaimed Rock Cats!, Chicago's only trained domestic cat band, have just been added to the Music Box show! Watch them here! This is seriously going to be the greatest show of all time.

Buy your tickets now before it is too late!

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

EVERYTHING IS WEARABLE!

You asked for them, now they're here, Everything is Terrible! T-Shirts!


BUY NOW! BUY NOW! BUY NOW! BUY NOW! BUY NOW!

Also if you see anyone wearing one of these overpriced bootlegs, you should steal it immediately.*

*EIT not responsible for consequences of theft.

DAR MEETS LA!


From the collection of Odd Obsession!

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

WANNA LOSE FAT?!



Special thanks to UCB Comedy for hosting some of our new vids!

Monday, September 28, 2009

EIT TAKES TEXAS

EIT's first ever Texas retreat was a smashing success! Big thanks to John Gross and the rest of the staff at the Alamo Drafthouse for showing us a great time. For those of you who were at the Burlington Coat Factory that night, here is a taste of the show:





We even got to go to the mall, something we do not have in our homeland of the Internet.

EIT Takes Texas

EIT Takes Texas

EIT Takes Texas

Friday, September 25, 2009

Thursday, September 24, 2009

GET YOUR TICKETS NOW!!!

As much as I love creating pointless Trapper Keeper inspired artwork, please don't make me have to do any more of these.

AUSTIN FANS GET YOUR TICKETS HERE
HOUSTON FANS GET YOUR TICKETS HERE

We've got the movie in all it's analog glory, a ton of unseen footage, posters for sale, and EIT is proud to announce that both shows will premiere brand new EIT T-SHIRTS! Yeah, you heard me. It's gonna be better than anything that has ever happened, ever.

DOT COM BOOMERS

The Internet: Bridging generation gaps... one modem at a time.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

TEXAS FANS! TIME TO MEET YOUR MAKERS!

Seriously, folks. We are coming to Texas and we like to party. Hard.

So won't you come and see the EIT gang in Austin and Houston this weekend? We'd really like to meet you guys, get some VHS outlet store tips, good grub, etc. SEE YA THERE, LOVERS!

BUNDLE O' STYLES PRESENTS: BRAIDS!

I miss boring week already.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

EIT BREAKING NEWS!!!

Our Terrible World lost a great voice, and a greater hunter in 2006 when tree stand mogul, Bob Hice, ascended God's Metal Pole in the sky to rest for eternity in the safest, most comfortable tree stand known to man.

FIDDLIN' AROUND!

Monday, September 21, 2009

GET TO WORK, TEENS!

Dude, these hip thirty-year-old teens will show you how to make serious bills in the Teen Biz biz. Suuuuweeeet!

Friday, September 18, 2009

HOWARD'S WESTERN STEER FOUR-PART BORING WEEK GRAND FINALE




RICK "CRUSHER" SCHERR AND THE SLUGGERS FROM HOWARD'S WESTERN STEER DISCUSS HITTING FOR POWER


BUDDY SLATER BREAKS DOWN FINER POINTS OF THE SLOW-PITCH KNUCKLEBALL


COACH BOBBY LUTZ AND RUSSELL "ROOSTER" BRADLEY SHIFT THEIR ATTENTION TO THE DEFENSIVE SIDE OF THE BALL


CLOSING REMARKS FROM COACH BOBBY LUTZ AND MR. RICHARD HOWARD HIMSELF

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

THIS HAS TO BE THE MOST TERRIBLE THING EVER

What could be worse than this? Honestly, I dare you all to find something worse. Running time on the entire tape: 47 MINUTES. And it's all like this! All of it! She just doesn't stop! For 47 minutes!

Monday, September 14, 2009

THERE ARE SO MANY GODDAMN WAYS TO WIN BINGO



We here at EIT often encounter some of the most eye-gougingly tedious videos ever committed to tape, and every now and then, we have to pass that pain onto you.

Kicking off Boring Week is the return of EIT's resident Las Vegas Guru explaining every possible way to win bingo. Enjoy.



BORING BONUS: Rainbow Spirit!

Sunday, September 13, 2009

WHO THE HELL IS JACOB ANDERSON?

Breaking news! This blog was featured in yesterday's Guardian and apparently this site is completely run by Jacob Anderson, which is news to us because we have never heard of this person until this article. So who the hell is Jacob Anderson?

This mystery leaves us with two very important questions:

Friday, September 11, 2009

KEEP THAT 'CRACKER AWAY FROM ME

From "Learn the Art of Whip Cracking Made Easy"



OFFICIAL REMIX CHALLENGE! We are challenging everyone to remix this video to Devo's "Whip It". You have until midnight (PST) on Friday, Sept.18th, to submit your video as a response. Entries will be judged by the founding members of Everything Is Terrible and the winner will be posted on our site. So yeah. Get to... crackin'...

UPDATE!!! Nobody wins the official remix challenge because we got no entries! Terrible job, everybody!!!

Thursday, September 10, 2009

DON'T FORGET THAT NAME!

I swear that up until the bumper at the end, I did not once repeat a clip. The full length VHS is also only 10 minutes long.



JUST FOR KIDZ!
Can you count the correct number of times they say the word "IMITREX" in this video? The first person to leave a comment with the answer receives a special secret prize! For real!

UPDATE!!!
Congratulations to Kyle of Los Angeles, CA!! You win with a correct guess of 40!